I Should Tell You
by goldiloks
Summary: Written in first person so the reader can experience it from his/her own POV. Inspired by the song "I Should Tell You" from RENT. Please R&R.


Written in first person so the reader can experience it as their own.

Disclaimer: I own only this story, not the character, song, etc.

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_Who knows where  
Who goes there  
Who knows  
Here goes  
Trusting desire starting to learn  
Walking through fire without a burn  
Clinging a shoulder, a leap begins  
Stinging and older, asleep on pins  
So here we go_

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"Charlie, we need to talk." I walk into his living room, wishing with every fiber of my being that I didn't have to say what was coming next.

"Sure, what's up?" He looks at me, concerned, knowing something was wrong. I avoid his gaze. Seeing those beautiful brown eyes of his would only make this harder. I sit down on the coffee table and face him on the couch.

"Charlie, I think we should stop seeing each other." I try desperately to keep my voice from cracking and revealing the tears now welling dangerously high in my line of sight.

"What? Why?"

"I just... think it would be best." I still haven't met his gaze since I walked in. He searches my face, reaching for a clue. I can't look him in the eye.

"Why? Is it... Is there some one else? I..." Smartest guy on the planet and he can't figure this one out for himself.

"I..." I blink and turn my head to the side before my tears fall freely, giving me away.

"There is some one else."

"NO." I look up quickly and accidentally meet his eyes. I can't look away. All I want to do is to hold him and never let go, but I can't. It wouldn't be fair to him.

"Then wh... I don't understand this!!" There's something I've never heard him say before. He's pleading and angry at the same time. Not angry at me, but at not understanding.

"I just..." God, why didn't I think this through more carefully. How can I tell him I'm doing what's in his best interest without revealing why it is so? And what if I did tell him why? Could I trust him with that?

"Look, am I doing something wrong? Have I hurt you? I'm so sorry. Just tell me and I'll do anything to make it better. I-"

"It's not you! Charlie, you're amazing and wonderful and... perfect. Can't you see? It's me. I'm not good enough for you. I'm not special or pretty or... smart enough for you. You deserve some one who can be your equal. Who can share your interests and... understand what you're saying more than half the time." He's staring at me. He's processing and accepting what I've said. I know he realizes it's true. I'm just waiting for him to tell me I'm right and to shove me out the door.

"You're what?" Maybe he's slower than I thought.

"I'm just not good enough for you, Charlie. It's as simple as that."

"As simple as tha... What?? Where is this coming from? Have I ever done anything to make you feel that you're anything less than my equal?"

"You don't have to, Charlie, it's just the truth." He just stares at me.

All of the sudden he's rushing towards me, gripping my neck with his hands, smashing his lips against mine, our bodies flush against each other. For one second I lose control and kiss him back.

"NO!" I pull away. Every part of me is in complete agony. "I can't... I can't hold on to you. It's not right that I should hold you back from true happiness. I'd never forgive myself if I were the reason you-"

"Hey, hey." He reaches out and cradles my jaw in his hand. I know I should pull away but his eyes keep me locked in place. "All those things you said are completely untrue. You're too good and too... amazing for me. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you."

"How-"

"And the only way you could hold me back from true happiness is if you weren't here to share every day with me. I _love_ you."

I stare into his eyes in disbelief. He loves me? How could he? Can't he see that I'm not... I'm not... He loves me?

As if he knows I need convincing, he kisses me, deeply, passionately, and more lovingly than any human has ever kissed another. This time I let myself lose control. I kiss him back, trying to portray all my emotions silently. He wraps his arms around my waist, and I mine around his neck. He brings his hands up and cradles my head, his fingers intertwining with my hair. Finally the kiss breaks and he leans his forehead against mine, our eyes closed, breaths quick yet synchronized. He draws his head back just enough to stare into my eyes. He strokes my cheek with his thumb.

"I'm so sorry I haven't told you every day how amazing and important you are to me. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Can you ever forgive me for being insecure and jumping to conclusions?"

"Only if you promise never to do it again." He smiles. Bringing his thumb up, he wipes one left over tear from my eyelashes and kisses my forehead. He pulls his hand away and I can still feel his thumb on my cheek, his lips on my face. I stare into his eyes and know he means every word he's said.


End file.
